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It’s such a simple solution. Here we’ve been overthinking the problem of consistently pathetic election turnouts when the answer is as near as our basement gun cabinet.
You’ve seen how the invading Russians get it done when they hold referendums to legitimize their illegal takeover of Ukrainian territory. They go door to door rounding up voters, encouraging their participation by taking along armed soldiers. Brilliant! Just brilliant! It’s one of those offers you can’t refuse, and you even get advice on how to vote, which is most effective when done at gunpoint.
If we adopt this method for the Nov. 8 election, we’d want to make some modifications to conform to our democratic process. We’d make sure that one of the armed soldiers was a Democrat and one a Republican, with someone from the unaffiliated list recording the votes. Wouldn’t that be a refreshing change, to have an expected 95 percent or more voter participation? The one possible drawback is that similar to the problem of rounding up enough election judges, we might not be able to get enough armed escorts.
But enough about another one of my brilliant ideas, we’re here to talk about more important stuff, like goats and chickens. Myersville has decided to use goats starting next spring to chomp down on weeds, and Brunswick is considering allowing residents to have backyard chickens. I’d have to say right off that all I know about goats is the little ones are cute, the bigger ones like to climb on things, and they eat everything, including tin cans.
Now chickens, that’s another story. In addition to being a successful squirrel farmer, I have, although in a former life, helped raise a lot of chickens. I’ve cleaned a lot of chicken coops as well. I’m sure eating a lot of chicken should also count for something.
We had a really feisty goose, a dog cleverly named Brownie because of his color, a big garden and chickens. All this on our mini-farm in the suburbs of big-city Baltimore, where raising chickens probably wasn’t even legal. But this was during a time when people who liked to eat took radical steps like growing their own food and raising chickens.
Opponents of backyard chickens have mentioned the noise, smell and potential for rats. They’re right. We had rats. Lots of rats. They were attracted to the chicken feed and who knows what else, and dug an elaborate tunnel system under the concrete floor of the double garage, half of which was the chicken coop. A combination of rat poison, traps, occasional shooting, and dad backing up our old Ford sedan, attaching a hose and pumping exhaust fumes into the rat holes put a big dent in their numbers.
We also had a daily supply of fresh eggs, fresh chicken, garden manure and the awesome spectacle of the next chicken headed for the pot getting its head chopped off and flopping wildly around the backyard until its motor gave out. City farm life at its most basic. No, kiddies, they don’t always die a natural death to the accompaniment of soothing music.
Brunswick could certainly join in the fun, along with the hard work, of chicken raising. The county already allows you to have up to six hens at a single family home or a duplex, as long as you have 2,500 square feet of yard space and a predator-safe coop, among other requirements.
And for those Brunswickians undecided about taking up chicken raising as a hobby, here’s another brilliant idea — that makes two in one day. Rent those little cluckers. There’s a variety of rental packages available, with most providing a portable coop, a couple of laying hens, feed and even instructions. A good move before that is to check out online advice like “pros and cons of backyard chickens.”
Chickens in Brunswick would only add to its other attractions such as the 90th annual Veterans Day Parade Nov. 6; the annual Brunswick Railroad Days; the Brunswick Heritage Museum; access to the Potomac River and the C&O Canal Towpath; and a variety of holiday-themed events and festivals. Don’t forget the hills — lots of hills. Which leads us to the proposed town slogan of “Brunswick: strong legs, fresh eggs.”
Had to leave this for last. No roosters are allowed, or as they put it in the chicken-raising regulations for the city of Frederick, “Every day is hensday.”
Coopmaster Bill Pritchard writes from Frederick. Reach him at billpritchard.1@gmail.com.
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Growing up in rural Iowa, we raised and ate about 150 chickens annually, plus a steer every year or two and the occasional lamb. Then there was the one acre garden we kids worked in all summer, the apple trees, and the grape vines so Dad could make sweet wine. (Move over Mogen David.) My brothers went rabbit and pheasant hunting.
Growing and raising your own food is a worthwhile use of time.
My hubby was on the eastern shore yesterday and came home with a bushel of oysters. He and I and some friends have been shucking this afternoon. A feast will soon follow.
As a kid I did as little work as possible as I helped turn a former chicken coop into a chapel on church property in Allison Park, PA. At an older age I stayed with cousins on their farm with many animals and enjoyed the baby chicks and roster of genetically-challenged barn cats and kittens (nobody alive then remembered bringing home a cat or kitten and there were some unusual variations. And my sister and I got ringworm as a souvenir). Older yet, I watched my city-bred ladylike and fashion-conscious older sister choose a capon among her collection, calmly kill, pluck and prepare it for dinner on her farm. Her husband and our dad were farm kids. My sister was way more adaptable than her designer duds ever hinted. It is handy to have chickens if you have her 250 acres, from a distance they are aesthetically pleasing and smell fine.
Keep it clean. No vulgar, racist, sexist or sexually-oriented language. Engage ideas. This forum is for the exchange of ideas, not personal attacks or ad hominem criticisms. TURN OFF CAPS LOCK. Be civil. Don't threaten. Don't lie. Don't bait. Don't degrade others. No trolling. Stay on topic. No spamming. This is not the place to sell miracle cures. No deceptive names. Apparently misleading usernames are not allowed. Say it once. No repetitive posts, please. Help us. Use the 'Report' link for abusive posts.
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